In this day and age of our lives centering so much on social media, we seem to become more judgmental about what people post, write or even think. Gone are the days when you would tweet your opinion about something, without having people jump in on you like you just endorsed Donald Trump! Having an opinion that goes contrary to what every one thinks, seem to always stir up emotions online nowadays.
We always seem to want people to confirm to our standards or our way of thinking. For a while now, I’ve happened to notice the silent “but” when people compliment someone; “You always seem to be travelling around, very independent and carefree, BUT you need to settle down now before it’s too late.”
Being genuinely happy for people seems to be such a task lately; “I heard you got a nice job, although you shouldn’t be too comfortable with it; the way things are nowadays, you never know!” Can’t we just be happy for someone in that particular moment without having to give them the reality check?
It’s our prerogative to tell you how you should run your social media accounts; ” Why do you always post so many pictures of your baby online? Why did you write that as your status update? You tweet too much on Twitter, Why did you upload that photo on Instagram?”. The unfriend button is always readily available you know, otherwise…
Relationship failing and the little voice in your head that says;” I knew that wouldn’t last long”. I must admit, I whisper those voices in my head daily when I see Idris Elba dating someone, but that’s an exception on my part. Whether someone want’s to go on and on about their better half, that shouldn’t concern your life in any way, unless the said better half felt philanthropic with his heart and decided to share it with you as well, otherwise, you just need to….
We want to control your reproductive system; “Is that baby number four? With this harsh economy, why would you want to have more babies? Why are you not having babies, you’ve been married for over four years now? Adoption is not part of our African culture; why would you want to adopt?” We need to learn to worry about ourselves and our wombs and just let….
You are your hair; “natural hair is not for everyone; it really doesn’t seem to suit you. Why did you decide to colour your hair red? That weave really doesn’t suit you. I loved your hair way better when it was short. I’m thinking of going natural, but I don’t think it’s for everyone.” As long as you’re not funding someone’s hair products, you need to remind yourself why India Arie sang that she is not her hair and just let…
The need to always address weighty matters; “so you started going to the gym, huh? I’m giving you two weeks before you go back to your unfit ways. Why do you bother going to the gym when you’re already slim? That diet looks like something my cat dragged back home yesterday, how can you eat it?.”
Being the dark cloud that always seem to rain on peoples parades; “The event was really nice, however there’s so much you should have done to make it better. You need to run this event like this too make everyone happy. It’s a nice concept, but people are not ready for it. Why are you going for that concert? If you really can’t say something nice, then the best thing to do is not say anything at all, but….
We are experts when it comes to other peoples talents; “why are you taking random pictures of landscapes and objects? Do you think you will able to make money off your talents? If I were you, I would do this differently. The market is flooded with so many people, maybe you should rethink this”. As long as you’re not feeding or financing them, then…
I could go on and on, about how we always find ways of sapping the smallest joy someone might have, by adding the famous “BUT” after complimenting them. There’s a very thin line between being realistic and being skeptical; sometimes the one thing that we need is just to get stuck in that moment, relish it and not think of the after, rather just be stuck in the present. It might just be a meme, but it really does make so much sense. Sometimes we just need to let people enjoy things; don’t feel obligated to tell them how they should feel, just..